Nicole Johnson

She grows in a world of raised voices.

Her father yelling.

Her mother crying.

He charmed every room

Smiled in the front row of every recital.

Everyone thought he was the cool dad.

Mama quiet, misunderstood.

Behind those muddled eyes,

no one noticed how still she stood.

For every bruise

There was an excuse.

You did this, so I did that.

There was a war in that house,

no one could see.

She learned to shrink to keep the peace.

Holding her breath,

Like that was love.

Shoulders tight, like that was enough.

Every shout

Made her smaller.

Every corner turned to armor.

She called it strength

when she swung back.

Just learning how to survive that.

He tried to smooth it over.

Said she misremembered.

Said it never happened like that.

And for a while

she believed him.

Now she startles at footsteps

Back to the wall.

Eyes on the door.

Voice sharp,

Before anyone else can.

Still fighting a war that’s over.

There was a war in that house,

But it wasn’t hers.

Just a child learning to endure.

I see you now,

standing motionless in the doorway.

You can breathe now