Nicole Johnson

I remember seeing that gruesome photo about Tyre Nichols cross my news feed and my heart sank immediately. So many things went through my mind in that moment, but the all too familiar feeling of familiarity too.

I was bothered by that image for a long time. I couldn’t move. I found myself periodically zoning out, only to hear the faint sound of my son repeatedly saying, “mama!” I couldn’t talk about this on social media with my friends because I didn’t have enough information to go on at the time to articulate that conversation. One thing I knew was he could have been my cousin or nephew laid up in that hospital bed. That realization hurt me beyond measure.

I waited agonizingly for more information to come out about what transpired the day he was hospitalized. I found myself getting more and more angry with each piece of new information. There was no evidence to suggest he was driving erratically, said the Memphis Police chief the day before body cam footage was released to the public. I felt my body propel itself forward and I cried. That entire encounter should have never happened.

Tyre’s parents watched the video and his mother said he cried out for her while they beat him. I felt that in my soul. As a mother myself, I cried for her too. I know all too well what it’s like when your child is in pain and you couldn’t be there to protect them or help them ease it. It is a truly awful feeling.

I’ve seen the body cam footage. I couldn’t bring myself to watch it with the audio. One thing I know with absolute certainty is, he should be home today with his family. Not in a morgue.

As we already know, Tyre should have never been pulled over in the first place. He was pulled over illegally. Tased, pepper sprayed, and beaten by 5 police officers, while cuffed and his hands pulled back so he couldn’t move. No one deserves to be treated like that.

It baffles me still how many people join the police force not for the reasons of “protect and serve” but control. To go out every day and oversee protecting our communities, but abusing the people in it instead.

• There is a reason that many of us fear calling the police.

The national average of positive interactions with the police is about 75%, but for Black Americans, this average is much lower. 4 in 10 Black Americans will have a negative experience.

The reasoning for needing police involvement isn’t always in cases of a crime. Sometimes it’s to help our physically or mentally ill family member, or a worried neighbor. A prime example of a wellfare check gone wrong is the death of Atatiana Jefferson, who was playing video games with her nephew when she was shot to death by an officer standing outside her bedroom window.

• There is a reason why people of color speak to their children about how to respond to people in authoritative positions, even though it’s not a guarantee we’ll be safe.

Black parents raise their children from a very young age how to carry themselves. They are open and blunt with their kids about what they will likely face out there in the world. Some of these conversations are unpleasant, but are often geared around our own experiences or the experiences of someone we know.   

We impose this sense of urgency, where we highlight, underscore, bolden, and italicize the importance of our relationships and unique vantage points of the world, which can come across as  abrasive, but it’s filled with love. This is our way to protect our children from racism. All any of us want is for our children to be safe and be given the opportunity to grow up. We prepare our children for the outside world by creating a training ground inside the home.

• There is a reason we are afraid to send our children out into this world, while simultaneously fearing them coming home safely.

My heart hurts for Tyre’s family and all families who have lost a child from similar circumstances. It is reasons like this that we fear the outdoors. Tyre’s death got me thinking about my own children and the conversations I will need to have with them in the near future. The realization that our children are viewed as adults, while our white counterparts view them as just innocent children.

  A study conducted at North Carolina University said, “the older an adult thinks a black child is, the more likely the adult is to incorrectly view the child as being angry.” The perception of the emotions of white children was not viewed in similar fashion.

In the study, 152 parents watched roughly 40 videos of children showing emotions, none of them expressed anger.  The study found a widespread bias in how black children are viewed. The inate biases of children’s emotions 100 percent correlates to how they are treated when interacting with law enforcement. If we are attaching adult emotions onto children, it is no wonder that black children are being treated unfairly. The sooner we address this bias, the sooner we can reengage with kids in a way that is appropriate for their age.