Nicole Johnson

I awaken from yet another sleepless night.
My mind spinning is circles as the ends begin to unravel.
Today, my mind may be in a fog of unanswered thoughts—
I have to know just where we stand.
Is it in or out?
This door is not revolving, it isn’t what it seems.
This is not a dream within a dream,
Nor an illusion of what it once seemed.
I dig my heels in deeper as I see a lunge within my near future.
I can’t envision life without you, but life with you is a complication that I can’t seem to tame.
Your words seep past your lips and I begin to wonder what ‘if’
Is that a lie you begin to form as your nostrils flare with disbelief that don’t quite match your eyes?
You forget, I know you so well.
I know your body as if it were my own.
Don’t tell a lie with another lie.
I want the truth this time.