Nicole Johnson

A gentle rock back and forth is all I have left of this calm.
The moment I open my eyes to the nothingness that’s left behind I will know
Nothing is safe here.
Not anymore.
I rest my cheek upon my knees and whisper the words of comfort.
“Everything will be alright,” I say as my eyes remain closed.
The salt-filled droplets behind my eyes release themselves with sickened tears.
I do believe that the storm has passed, but the memories remain as if it’s all the same and I can’t bring myself to say no to you.
I envision your face in front of me the moment I open my eyes to spy on you.
The look of hurt that leaves its holes in my heart.
My voice has gone missing from the slash within my throat that has left my windpipe damaged from the gash.
I almost wish the knife wounds had killed me and took along my memories.
I’ve wished for nothing more than the haze to take over me and remember nothing.
Not even you killing me in my dreams.
I look back upon this day and I never saw it coming.
A shower led to this moment taken from bliss.
No smiles or laughter, but the puffed up eyes caused by shed tears.
I wish you well wherever you’ve gone from here.