Nicole Johnson

If just for a day I could be free to go on living and doing as I please—
No one to answer to, not even you.
If just for a day I could be numb—
No more emotions to ruin the little bit of happiness that I’ve conjured up and washed down with salt.
Coming to a halt as the light bulb goes off.
My humanity turned off and I’m free to roam the streets with less agony.
Immortality couldn’t be any greener if the idea had come to me in a dead sleep and crowned me queen of its very existence.
If just for a day the nothingness that I feel would heal—
Layer after thickened layer of ice would thaw, leaving no damages to my already bandaged heart;
Moving on wouldn’t be so hard.
If only for a day I wish not to feel pain.